Thoughts I have while riding

An insight into my weird thoughts while I attempt to ride my unicorn; 

Ok, time to mount. 

… anddddd now we are walking away from the mounting block. I wonder how far I can stretch before my breeches rip. 

*5mintues passed* Finally, better late than never. Dang.. I have to pee.  

…. again! 

Alright, time to show my coach how much I have improved since my last lesson, because you know… I totally have. 

Shit, my lower leg looks like it wants to fly… Did I call that client back? Did I tell my coworker about that delivery? PAY ATTENTION BETHANY, PAY ATTENTION! 

UGHHH… what did she say to do next?  

She’s giving me that look, time to do something.. QUICK! 

Okay, trotting it is…  OMG, we are that much closer to jumping.

Don’t fart, don’t fart, 1..2..1..2.. Don’t fart… For the love of god.  

Sitting trot. 

I clearly didn’t wear the right bra. Sorry folks  

I should of peed. 

Why must my bladder be so difficult. 

What did she say? 

I’m just going to keep doing the same thing until she gives me that look. 

And I got the look…again. 

I’ll just canter. And she’s bucking, Thank god for my inner thigh. 

Omg, I’m dying! 

I need to work out. 

Hmm, did I clock out at work? 

Shit, I blacked out again  

Time to jump. I got this! YOU ARE A BAD ASS! BE ONE WITH THE FENCE.

I don’t have this. ABORT MISSION! ABORT!  

Okay, I’m going to crush this cross rail.  

And we made it over. 

Is that a long spot, Where is the distance! WHERE IS IT!?!

Jesus take the wheel. 

Whatever you do don’t complain like the last lesson. 

SHUT UP. STOP COMPLAINING. 

And we’re refusing fences.. awesome.  

And now I’m complaining, Again… awesome. Sorry coach  

She’s going to drop me as a student. 

Okay, she’s giving me positive feedback with a mix of negative. 

Seriously, I need to get my shit together for over fences. 

I did forget to clock out at work. Typical.

Omg, she said see you next week.

I survived. Where’s the wine? 

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2 thoughts on “Thoughts I have while riding

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