Being able to “shake off” those oh shit moments I believe is so fundamental to being able to move on. I can laugh off those moments, but I can’t shake off those damn nerves. My current lease horse has gone and done it and now he is lame. Talk about stressed! I’ve been trying to work on building my saddle confidence with him, and now.. this. Regardless, I still love him.
Now, I have to face my nerves and ride another horse(s) until he is better. We found out he was lame moments before my lesson was due to start on Monday. So being the nervous equestrian that I am, I backed out of my lesson that would of been on another horse.
THAT WAS SO DUMB. (face pam… the biggest face palm EVER!)
I should have just shaken off my nerves and just did the damn lesson and been done with it. I am not going to get any further ahead in this mental game if I keep giving into my nervous self. I ride two days a week at the moment, so my weekly lease ride also has to be on someone else until Huntec is better.
Jesus take the wheel.
Well, the wheel was taken and I did it. I was able to ride my friend Leigh-Ann’s horse Cooper for my lease ride last night. It honestly, was fine. I was fine, he was fine. I wasn’t nervous to ride him at all. I was actually really relaxed (surprise, surprise).
UNTIL.. This adorable little thoroughbred (WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS, hehe) decided to spook at basically life. Which then caused Cooper to spook and me to be like OH SHIT! But you know what, I WAS FINE. Despite him acting different than minutes previously before, everything was still fine. I kept my leg on and sat up (OMG, something I learned and I was able to focus on it, in that moment of time!).
But, then I took that dang wheel back.
I was nervous. I was trying to breathe and just focus on what was going on underneath me and focus his attention elsewhere. Other than the fact it wasn’t his Mom doing the riding.
It then hit me, my nervousness was affecting this horse. He was totally feeding off my body language. Everything my coaches have been drilling in my head this whole time, came through like the biggest beam of light ever. I need to own it. I need to think and ride like I have all the confidence in the world.
I CAN DO THIS. I AM A BAD ASS!
I then realized two things: I can get off if I want too, and then feel even more stupid than I did on Monday for giving into my nerves or, I can continue on. Because honestly, nothing THAT bad was happening (like at all – hellooo mental games) that I needed to get off and call it a night.
So, I went with option 2. I continued on. I just worked on breathing, pushing him forward. He really is a sweet horse, and just so responsive to my body language that it took me by surprise. It was such a good experience to ride another horse. While Huntec is healing I know that I will have to face many new (and old) fears of riding and jumping different horses.
When it is all said and done, I can say once again “I did it” and someone better supply the wine (Jacob’s Creek Moscato is my favorite.. HINT).
So, lets shake off those nerves. And say a little pray for me for my Monday lesson. Because we all know my coach is going to make me jump a stick.
❤ The Nervous Equestrian