Confidence; “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” (as defined by the Dictionary.com)
Or, a Bethany definition, “FAKE IT TO YOU MAKE IT HUNNY!”
Either way, in this sport if we don’t have confidence, chances are you are like me, nervous. Nervous of the possibility that something is going to go wrong – AGAIN.
Confidence is as easy to say, as it is as easy to break. We are always working on our confidence in ourselves. Whether it is confidence in our job, to confidence that you can jump your horse without wanting to poop your pants (that is not overly recommend). Confidence is something that I have been working on basically the moment I came out of the womb. I am so jealous of these natural confident people. I just want to steal some of their confidence, jam it into my personality and carry on.
But, you know the feeling you get when you do something that you aren’t confident about and always seem to doubt yourself – and you kill it?! Well, this girl right here had that feeling for this Monday’s lesson! I was nervous as ol’ hell before even mounting, but underneath that nervousness feeling I knew I was fine. I could finally see passed my falls and I could see beyond the black outs. It was such a good feeling. I was Iike “OH YA! I AM OWNING THIS LESSON!” (insert happy colourful swear words here).
I crushed those cross rails. I was soooo tempted to ask my coach to just bump them right up, but I can’t get too crazy, or set myself up for failure. So cross rails I stayed. I can actually tell I am getting my confidence back. I am so much more relaxed in the saddle. Once I get that first jump out of the way I am golden. It’s that first jump fear that tries to kill my confidence.
Everyone wants to be that confident rider. To be like those riders we see winning all the rounds. Having a killer 2pt, handling everything and anything that comes their way like it doesn’t even affect them. Confidence can make or break a person. I feel like we make the lack of confidence worse in ourselves by believing that every other rider out there is just jammed pack full of confidence. Everyone gets nervous, everyone has that slight question if they can do it or not. It just comes down to the fact (I believe so anyways) how bad you want it, how much passion you have, and just swallowing that lump in your throat and pushing through it.
Show season is fast approaching. Even though I haven’t jumped 2’3 or 2’6 yet I am confident I’m going to be ready by April. I am giving myself no reason or a chance to not be ready. Because if not I’ll have to FAKE IT TO I MAKE IT!
❤ The Nervous Equestrian