If I could turn back timeeee.. Ohhhh, If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t of rode like shit at hants county. – JK, I probably still would have.

BUT!

It happened. It actually happened. Despite me losing to my own mental games, Abbey and I went to our second ever off property show together, and we had a blast! This time we jumped. Yes, you read that right. I some how had the courage to jump Abbey off property!

We had a schooling day on Thursday and it went fantastic! After, I ate shit off Abbey –  in true Bethany fashion, I would have my first fall off her at an off property show in front of some great riders. But at least it wasn’t jumping related! But other than that it went great! She was FABOLOUS! She was so calm and cool. Not like the last time I took her there. She was there to do a job and she did it. I was honestly so surprised at how relaxed she was. She is definitely a show horse and loves showing off. She didn’t even hesitate to the jumps, or even have a second look at them.  She just did it and saved my ass every single time – like every time.

My first round was horrible, I honestly can’t even talk or think about it without getting mad at myself, and embarrassed. My second round was much better, I was much more relaxed and semi allowing her to come forward (something I am struggling with – control & consistency & trust).

In the second division (2ft) we were disqualified from both jumping rounds because I let her run out at the SAME FREAKING FENCE! Totally pilot error, and it was a tight corner in Abbey’s defence, but I really could have gotten her over it, if I basically didn’t give up.

Our under saddles were a nightmare, Abbey gets so up with all the other horses in the ring. Being the only horse in the ring for jumping, great, her thing, she loves it. Sharing the ring, she’s like nope – I need all eyes on me. We did manage to pull off a 6th place ribbon! I picked up the wrong lead for one class, so that tossed us out right there.

When I was in the ring for my first round of the day, as I was cantering down to the jump I was thinking (instead of counting my pace – oops) on how relaxed I actually felt once I got in there and started. And when I say relaxed, I only half wanted to throw up, but not committed to it 100%. My mind was blown, after the first jump with the horrible distance and me forgetting how to ride, I was back to thinking – dang I am actually doing this and I am actually HAVING FUN.

At the end of the day, no matter how mad and embarrassed I am at myself for my show performance I did achieve my goals. The only 2 goals I had for Hants County were, to get Abbey happily into the ring, and to successfully jump some (but aim for all) jumps. And I did that. Abbey was a super star, and we jumped jumps. I managed to pull it off. Everything else that happened, or didn’t happen is straight up no biggie. I can’t dwell on it.

Just going out there and riding is the best feeling of achievement I could give myself.  Not talking myself out of it and actually doing it is a huge accomplishment for myself. I always play these mental games when it comes to riding and having people who I don’t know watch me. So going off property and showing – while having fun is a much better feeling than winning a red ribbon in my books.

❤ The Nervous Equestrian